Something's Missing

I am missing community. I put myself in too many communities, not ever fully experiencing the body of Christ in any of them. It was my attendance and not my heart that showed up. I will be glad when my responsibilities with some of these communities is over. Not because I don't value the ministry or the people, but because I did too much this year. Each day was filled with some sort of commitment and it drained everything I had in me to the point of feeling utterly empty. I didn't realize what it was until yesterday. I feel like I robbed my aparment of myself this year. I feel like I sometimes robbed JD of myself this year. I certainly robbed my family and close friends of myself. And I most definately robbed the ministries I was involved in this year. And I was robbed too. But lesson learned. This is not a lamentable entry where I regret my entire senior year... no. I learned. I am so looking forward to simplicity. I can't wait until I am able to rest in my own space, to spend time carefully and not flagrantly. To go wherever He calls me to. Jesus did nothing without asking the Father first. I need to learn this. So I press on to take hold of the prize... and I know now there is no rush.