Tree reading

The end of my day brings me as much delight as the beginning. Life at the church changes on Thursday evenings. There are no crazy Awanas kids, no high school group, no AA meetings... The staff picks up to head home and a new staff claims church property as the gardeners come to trim the bushes and Mamer comes to clean our offices. Neighborhood kids bring their basketball and start shooting hoops near the edge of the parking lot. The YMCA parking lot adjacent to ours is filled with people hoping to carve off ten more pounds... and our little cottage rests quietly in the corner. The door is propped open for a nice breeze flow and the sound of lawn mowers bring a serene sense of reality to church world. This is my hour of solitude. JD is coaching football and all of my tasks are completed for the day. Feeling inspired with Donald Miller's "Through Painted Deserts" in my hand, I walk outside the door, down our 3 steps, across the tiny lawn with the avocado tree in the corner, and I crawl into the perfect climbing tree. Donald's writing dazzles me for a bit and I feel my entire body slip into a peaceful trance of serenity. After a few chapters, I am daydreaming and semi-listening to the boys play basketball below me. They are my next project. Chocolate chip cookies for the basketball kids.
I close my book and hop out of the tree as the alarm on my phone tells me JD will be home soon. I whisper thank you to God for this peaceful day and scoot into our little cottage to prepare some leftovers ;)

Morning Brew

Morning Brew offers a small sanctuary for my soul. As I sip my coffee and read Gladys Aylwards’ biography, thoughts of mission work amuse my mind. A bite of my scone and Dave starts playing through the coffee shop speakers. I am thankful for this blissful morning. The girl at the counter has kinky hair tied up in a head wrap. She wears funky clothes and adorns a nose ring. The color and texture of her hair indicate hours of surfing Hawaii’s shores. I plug in my earphones as some pop music spoils the mood. Thoughts of being in a far away place remind me of our trip to Colorado, my adventures in Europe, and the road trip to Seattle. In Hawaii now, but Hawaii is home. I reserve Morning Brew for special occasions; times when my heart needs revival and my soul craves creativity. I am working on my love relationship with Jesus. Exploring new ways of worship - the familiar quiet time has begun to dry my walk and God whispers that it might look different now. So I come here to rest, to read, and to write. My seat is prime for people watching. I enjoy the conversations buzzing all around me as I silently observe with music singing to my ears. I always wish I could wear funky clothes like the barista. But whenever I go shopping, I always seem to pick out the familiar solids. Today my shirt has orange splotches all over and I wear it underneath a green sweater… this is my only outfit that displays any flavor. I tried wearing a bandanna on my head the other day, but my husband looked at me a little funny and my self-consciousness got the better of me, even though he assured me it looked “fine” and I should darn well wear whatever I want. Another day I suppose… or maybe we’ll move to the North Shore where anything goes. Glance at the oh so Hawaiian paintings on the wall, a bit modern for my taste, and think about the painting class Anita told me about. Every Saturday I could sit in a class and learn to paint the palms, islands, and waves that now color my world. I’m thinking about it. For now I’m content with my coffee, laptop, and book…

Running with Rainbows

I woke up this morning at 8:20 am, an astonishingly early time for a Saturday considering the lack of sleep I've had this past month. Nonetheless, I woke up and it was go-time. My first impulse was to pack my computer and trek on over to Morning Brew, Kailua's only local coffee shop, for some good writing time. Then I looked over at my sleeping husband and felt like I'd exhausted my coffee shop privileges for the week, and if I went again, JD might start tracking the amount of dollars spent on chai lattes, americanos, and delicious scones.

The last thing I wanted to do was run.

As I lay there contemplating what to do, I asked God... This is how it went down:

What should I do right now... I should go to a coffee shop right?

Do you trust me?

Yes...

Go for a run.

No thanks. I'd rather not.

I tried to make myself go back to sleep, certain that God could really care less if I went for a run, but let's be honest - if God tells you to go on a run, you grab your shoes and go. After a quick bite of peanut butter toast to keep me from passing out on my run, I headed out the door, waved to Pastor Brad who was walking to the Elder meeting, and took off toward the Haeou (where they may or may not have performed human sacrifices back in the day).

I'm pretty out of shape so the first few minutes of the run were spent grumbling. But the sight of the marsh was breathtaking as I looked around at the surrounding mountains towering over my trail and the lily pads covering the water beside me. I live here?

Just enjoy Me...

Then appears before me a full rainbow with its rays spreading from one corner of the marsh to the other. The multi-colored display of glory was soon accompanied by a light sprinkle as I gleefully ran in the ran. Like a kid in an amusement park I started waving and greeting each stranger that walked/ran/biked past me on the marsh path (not afraid to get undignified sometimes). The following three miles (some which were spent walking, I might add) were such a sweet time with the Lord as I was finally able to have some intentional time with my Friend.

On the way back to the cottage, I looked at the ground and noticed a near perfect Hibiscus flower... which I promptly tucked behind my ear to wear for the rest of the day...

Swim to Flat Island

I stand deceivingly confident in my old Guard suit at the water's edge. Goggles in hand, ear plugs in place. The guys are already used to the water. I'm freezing with my toes in. "Come in! The sooner you get all the way in, the sooner you get warm," they yell as I shiver on the shore. Not sure about this. Come on, I think to myself, you're a swimmer... this is no big deal. Years of getting into cold water... Just go. I dive in and immerse myself in the swells. It's a windy day so the current is stronger than normal. I let the guys do their thing, this is my deal. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. I take a breath and a mouthful of sea water reminds me this isn't lap swimming. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. I finally look down... into a tangle of rocks. The coral looks particularly intimidating as the swells lower me to only a few feet above the reef and then raise my body significantly as if I am weightless. Relax... My foot bumps into something suddenly, oh, only one of the guys. The next moment my body slams into him and I feel powerless to control my direction. Didn't they say they had to close a beach nearby due to shark sightings? The island is close but the water is more shallow. I can touch the coral with my hand if I try. I wish I had a snorkel mask... But this isn't snorkeling. No, the leisure of looking at fish in a shallow cove above still waters is not a luxury I have at this moment. Deep Breath. Mouth full of water. Panic sets in but I still my body. Keep going... The sandy beach awaits me as I doggy paddle just barely over the last bit of sharp coral below me. Ahhh... This is not so bad. The guys come in just at the same time and lay down on the soft sand of Flat Island. "What a workout!" They exclaim as one of them shakes out the water in his ear. My earplugs are shot. Both ears are filled with water. I can expect an ear infection any day now. Oh yes, I did this for my workout today. Running would have been much more simple. "Ready to head back?" No. "Ok, let's do it! Freestyle the whole way there," is my verbal response. I jump back in the water and start my swim to the beach shore. The mystery of the ocean is still intimidating and with each swell I fight for control... but this new world has an eery appeal, and I want to do it again. I want to conquer the swim to Flat Island.


FYI- this story is a combo of two swims to the island - one in which I made it, and the other in which I had to turn around... using my poetic licence :)

Redemptive Lens

Sitting in the cottage next to the big window with the Book of Acts resting in my lap. What to say Lord? This historical narrative appeals to my history degree, but how to make it come alive in the world of junior high students... Sip of coffee, deep breath, anxious to get going.
Phone rings. Unrecognizable number - must be Cait in Switzerland. It is. I take off in the car for some peace and quiet ... and some Starbucks. We talk and talk... talk about what I'm learning here on the Island, and what she's learning in the Swiss Alps. Conversation gets animated as we share mutual passions and world views. Different perspectives offer necessary iron. Sharpened as we spur the other to see God's image. Redemptive Theology is our conclusion. Gives me renewed insight, a fresh vision. Order an iced grande nonfat Chai Latte. Ideas spinning as I reread Acts 1 & 2... Look through helpful texts, exegesis, commentaries, etc. This past week's learning still fresh in my mind, colors the way I see ministry. History lesson in the breakthrough of a movement of redemption that manifests itself in the body of Christ, the Church. Typing away. Drain the Chai, nearing 4:00, our meeting time. Pack up, step outdoors and the freshness of this world that Jesus redeemed greets me as I smile at the pink-haired teen with a lip ring and a frappuccino.

Sequel.

Wow... thanks for your comments and emails. I feel encouraged and strengthened. My previous post rallied some great discussion and dialogue about empowerment, the female struggle, and ultimately, the Holy Spirit's role in leading, defining, and refining His children. Since my post, I have done plenty of thinking about my own beliefs, what this struggle has meant for me personally, and how ultimately, I will surrender to the authority of God. More than ever I hope to gain understanding and strength in my quest to see women who believe they are called to positions of leadership find peace in the God who burdened their heart for the body in the first place.

I find myself in a very interesting situation right now. I feel supported, encouraged, and loved by the body of believers who hired JD and I to shepherd their students into the Kingdom. I am content with my 'role' (as defined by the apprenticeship) and more importantly, feel relieved to be in a situation where I can best use the gifts given to me by my Creator. My heart and my focus is to make disciples of the students God has entrusted us with, and I have no agenda to 'let those Baptists know that women can be leaders in the Church too' ;) It doesn't mean I don't notice, however, that the leadership of the church is mandated by men (I realize my Presbyterian background is a bit shocked by this) and will most likely not change as I have heard discussion about such things already. So I store it in my brain, and I might write about it a little bit - but the discussion will be generalized. Stones are not meant to be thrown, but questions should be raised.

Leisel brought up a very valid point that really resonated with my heart. "Part of the Fall... is being reversed by movements started by people who are unafraid to step out and just be who they are-- regardless of what other people think." JD actually said a very similar thing the other day; "we were all created equally, and after the Fall, that equality got distorted and redefined - robbing us of the individuality and freedom that God intended." I like that - well, not that the Fall happened, but that God never meant for us to find strife in who He called us to be. I find freedom in those statements. Part of my struggle is seeking to find God's purpose for me in the confines of 'roles' and 'titles' that the church, society, professions, etc. have created - and to be honest, I just haven't found it. I do know that God has called me to preach the Gospel and freedom into the lives of those I come in contact with, either directly or indirectly, and that He has given me specific gifts and talents in which to do so. Another part of Leisel's comment (sorry Leis, but you just said a lot of cool things, hope you don't mind): "... as far as men and women's roles? Yikes. I don't even know what that is...nor do I think it's a blanket concept that can be applied to all men or all women. We're all designed uniquely and individually-- all loved and all created for purposes that do not all look the same." Thank you. Thank you for bringing restoration for my soul after a pretty hard week, and a really long struggle. Thank you, also, for speaking a truth that becomes so distorted when we simplify it into society's terms.

In His Aloha (much love),
Annie

p.s. - and J... go for it sister :)