First Day of School

I walked to school this morning feeling like a kindergartner. Well, not really. More like a senior in college and this is my last first day of school at UCLA ever (I've only had two). Anyhow, after waking up at 6am for a morning climb with Alana , my roommate made me a breakfast of eggs, ham, cheese, and tomatoes (just like Jackie!) and 5 of us girls bustled around the apartment getting ready for school. I threw my backpack on and faced the long walk that eventually leads me to Public Policy (far end of the campus). While walking I was listening to David Crowder and thinking (as I often do on my way to and fro class)... thinking about that moment, this year, what next year holds, where m heart is, where the power of the Holy Spirit is taking me, etc... so many thoughts.

Last night I couldn't go to sleep because I was asking God questions about my life. I'm not sure that I necessarily received answers thus far, but I asked them nonetheless and finally wrote until I fell asleep on the couch in the living room. I think that the questions I have about my life are still running around and it sort of excites me. The fear of the future has become an exciting process of discerning the next step. And then I stop and think to myself; "Annie. It's just your first day of school."

That means I get to learn about American women writers, Paul of Tarsus, and English lit from 1660 to some other time period for 10 weeks... and in just 30 more weeks of instruction with 8 more classes I will be clothed in my cap and gown with a diploma in my hand. Just thought you should know that.

A good place to be

Well well well... so here I find myself: back into a world that fits. Not always a comfortable fit (in fact, usually quite the opposite is true), but a fit nonetheless. The peace I experience here is not of circumstance but of a disposition that belongs to my nature because of who Christ is. Cait says I thrive here, Jennie laughs at my stories, and the people I interact with daily see it as life. And all could be said to be true. A new birth of the school year is exhilerating to me. In fact, school hasn't started yet and school isn't what I'm most excited about... but the newness and freshness and excitement for life that is experienced in this place gets me thrilled about life and pours faith into God's placement of me and my surroundings.

I spent an incredible weekend with the Athletes in Action leadership team down in Orange County. There are 9 of us and over a weekend of hiking, praying, reading the Word, preaching the gospel to one another, bonfires, beaches, splashing in waves, peanut butter brownies, and worship... I was revived and refreshed. The Spirit of God poured over us... our conversations were flavored with salt and a sense of unity was accomplisehd by the bond of Christ.

So here begins and continues part of a journey that God has led me through. Highschool senior girls small group starts up this week, attending a youth specialties conference this weekend, AIA is coming up full speed ahead, I bought a sleeping bag for-5 degree weather at REI and found myself not even sweating when I slept in it in a home, training for athletic stuff coming up, friendships rekindled, new friendships being made, school (oh yeah that) will start Thursday, nearly every night will be filled with a meeting, fellowship, or Bible study of some sort, still need to unpack, writing to do, heart searching needed, and let's not forget the whole this is my senior year thing...

Almost here

Do you know what a steak dinner complete with mom's caesar salad, baked potatoes, fresh zucchini and parmesan, rolls, and a George's Special from Dewar's means?

Last night in Bako. That's what it means.

;)

p.s.- for those of you who are unfortunate enough to have never had Dewar's ice cream- let me tell you what a George's Special is: vanilla ice milk, chocolate fudge syrup, bananas, and walnuts all blended into one amazingly beautiful and delicious milkshake.

Bruin Pride (click me)

Did I mention that I'm really proud to be a Bruin?

I am. It was officially instilled in me the second I was accepted (though it was perpetually being fed to me by Garett). At the moment I received the letter, I began to hate USC (I will use that word in the most loving way possible). Nearly unexplainable, but it happens to the best of us and is very much reciprocated by the other side.

Anyhow, I went to the UCLA v. Oklahoma University at the Rosebowl on Saturday with my brother and our friend Josh Waldon (who I also claim as a little brother). We had a blast tailgating, cheering in the student section (which is just pure madness to be honest), and watching the Bruins play some amazing football against the Sooners... And by 'amazing,' I mean some of the best football I have seen in a long time, particularly by UCLA.


Drew Olson

Touchdown Bruins:Maurice Drew


Final Score: 41-24 Bruins! Woohoo!

the necessary change

I finally did it. I made the shift from iced mochas and iced caramel macchiatos to iced coffee. Guess it's all a part of growing up and someone's gotta do it.

The Doctor's Office

I spent the better part of my morning in Dr. Ed's office. In one sense, it's always a pleasure to go to Dr. Ed's because I get to see pictures of Lildra J on the wall, visit with Randy and Ed, see Cynthia, drink complimentary beverages, etc. Their office is a place of ministry. Prayer is offered, service provided (snacks and beverages of all sorts), flat screen TVs for comfortable waiting, cushy chairs, and a friendly staff. I am blown away by the way in which Christ is shared with each patient who merely steps foot in the door.

But let's face it... how many times am I going to hear, "look at that ear!" Ever since I was infant, my ears have given me trouble. Tubes in, tubes out, tubes in, tubes out, and oh yes... they get to be put in again during Christmas break! Chronic ear infections are the story of my life. I can't recall a time when I've gone to the doctor and haven't had an ear infection. Several times my mother has had the opportunity to look inside my ear (today being no exception) because it is such a mess (literally my doctors have always been stunned when they see my poor ear). I have to chuckle about it because no matter what my symptoms may be, it's ALWAYS an ear infection! Ah and today is no different... Once again, I will go on a new round of antibiotics. Now, I know that many are opposed to antibiotics, but let's face it. I don't get better without them and I've been using them since I was born.

I also got to be poked by needles twice today... always a pleasure. Now if you are noting the sarcasm in my tone, know that it is merely because today has been a life day. I blame no one and am always grateful for the people who look after me and remind me that I have bad ears. People get sick. It's life! This has been a season of sickness for me... I can always count on August and September being my sick months. I think it's because I rest in between those two months. When I rest, my body catches up with me, gets really upset, gets over it, and then I'm at it again. And yes, in 4 days I will be at it again because Monday is the big move in day!

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

What if the very words you need to hear from Jesus are these words: It's not your fault.

They say you are your own worst enemy. Well, I might just be the queen of that phrase sometimes. Even to the point of questioning Christ's love for me, I tend to loathe the sin that consumes my very being. Fear, self-pity, pride, apathy, complacency, doubt... I despise them all, and yet they are the very things that plague me. I am a product of sinful nature. And yet in the midst of my despair and longing for peace, I lay on my bed and heard His still small voice whisper to me: It's not your fault.

In an instant I clung to those words and repeated it to myself over and over again. It's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault. In my desire to be who Christ's calls me to be and in my failure to even come close, Jesus whispers to me: It's not your fault. And it isn't.

I was born into a distorted relationship with God. I was born already a slave to my sin. Since the fall of man, God has desperately attempted to restore that relationship. The Flood, Sodom and Gomorah, convenants, renewal, and then the ultimate act of love- Jesus. All are acts of a God who loves us with a passion none on this earth can imitate... in an attempt to restore what was broken. And it is in Christ that we have hope. Christ is our redemption. He set an example for us in love, and we may emulate Him - though we won't be perfect. "It is for the unrighteous that I have come." Through belief in His atonement, we may be saved and may attain the relationship God originally intended for us. Freedom. A relationship that is unashamed, naked, free, and good.

While on this earth, Paul completely understood the nature of sin and its destruction to the human soul. I find comfort and freedom in his words:

"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do- this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:14-25

It's not your fault. Live free and hope for Heaven! Not for death, but for the completely restored relationship that is waiting for you upon belief in the Lord Jesus Christ.

His love is real, abundant, true, and good. He loves you and He loves me. May it be a truth that penetrates our hearts and manifests itself in our lives.

Blessed Be His Name

Something else

I'm tired of blogging. I need a break... time for innovation, new thought, words from the Savior. Entries becoming mindless only bore me and frustrate me. So I will be back when I feel like I have something worthwhile to say and chew on.

Before I sign off for a bit, I would encourage you to visit Christie Tedmon's website (under my links) because she is raising money to head over with the red cross to assist the Hurricane victims. She has a good heart and feels genuinely called to go. If you feel led, please pray for her, support her financially, talk to her, email her...

The Independent Woman

My friend just sent me an interesting article about the cost of delaying marriage. No, she didn't send it to me because she was worried about me or thought I was in danger of any sort, but she sent it because it was a perspective that many of us hadn't really considered. So I thought I'd post it and see what your perspectives are. I feel like there are some legitimate points mentioned in the article and is worth reading.

The best and worst of 21

Best: Two words... Piano Bar
Worst: the way my feet feel after walking/dancing around for hours in stilettos

21

If you know me well you may either be shocked, appalled, thrilled, or driven to laughter when you hear what I'm doing this weekend. It's the big 21st birthday, and, seeing as though I am the very last of almost every one of my friends in LA (and from home) to turn 21... we decided to go to Vegas. Yes. That city. The one most people can't stand and is often referred to as 'sin city.' I can hardly believe it myself, but 7 of us are making the very expensive and long and hot drive tomorrow morning. Kari Maddox sent me an email with the title "what happens in Vegas... is still real life." I like her. Now if you're tempted to admonish me, you won't be doing much good because honestly, I'm going with great people and I'm not prone to fly off my handle and become a crazy lady. Tomorrow I'm waking up at 6:ooam to drive to LA and meet up with some of my very best friends. I'm pretty dang excited about that, I'll be honest. I'll write in a few days...
peace

Katrina

I've been watching the news alot lately. I'll admit, the destruction is much worse than I expected. The stories of lives in turmoil, death, lost family members and friends, hunger, disease... Christie called me today. She wants desperately to do something. Me too. They say send money. Ok. But what I really want to do is hug them and be with them. Maybe play with the children... bring clothes or something. I don't feel helpless though. Our God is much too big to feel helpless. He will allocate the resources. I'm going through Genesis right now and am blown away by God's constant desire and anguish to have His creation rightly related to Him- to be Holy and to be in communion with Him. That's why Jesus came. And the same God who sent Jesus is still Sovereign, and is very much crazy over His creation. He asks us to trust and abide. Those have been words spoken to me often throughout this summer, and I am reminded of them now. I will pray. And I will trust. Please know that I am not ignorant or naive to know that it might be easier said than done when I am not in the midst of it, and I admit that throughout the day my thoughts were elsewhere, but I still answer to Jesus... and right now I am assured of His love. Good night.

Pictures

Check them out! I'm gradually adding all of my pictures from this summer. There's many. Stay tuned and enjoy as they come!